mrcraabs:

why the fuck cant i have a best friend who lives 30 seconds away from me who always comes over and we just stay at each others houses whenever movies are so deceiving

soufflesandbowties:

50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”